Someone recently asked me for advice on their path. This was my answer. It’s for anyone whose ambition is matched only by their anxiety—for those who have a big appetite and even bigger worries.
Hi {name}, it's good to meet you.
You asked a hard question, and I’ll just try to share what comes to mind.
The hard truth is that if you want to be formidable, you need to have made your mark as a builder before you turn thirty.
I don’t just mean being good at your job. I mean being known, even among other smart people, for operating on a different vector. That kind of trajectory isn’t built by working for someone else. It’s forged through agency. It comes from having your own projects, your own mission, and your own path. For what it’s worth, neither I nor the formidable people I know ever relied on others to show us the way.
Working at a place like OpenAI helped me grow, but it wasn't the most important part of my education. What truly shaped me were the things I chose to give up and the things I chose to double down on to get there. The most valuable thing I took from that environment wasn’t the prestige or even the technical skill—it was the clarity. I knew exactly who my competition was. I saw exactly where I needed to go next. And I realized that engineering is just one small tool. It’s not enough to truly bend the world.
Leaving a place like that is its own education. In many ways, I grew more on the outside than I ever did on the inside. What matters most will depend entirely on the values you choose to live by. No one can give you that map. You have to find it yourself.
Most people, even when they get angry at themselves for wasting time or hitting a wall, don't have a reason sharp enough to keep pushing. And they can still live happy lives, which is perfectly fine. But if you want to stay consistent—if you want your growth to compound relentlessly year after year—you need a why that cuts through the noise.
I don’t know who you want to become, but the bigger the ambition, the steeper the price. Most people have no idea how high that price actually is. The only way to pay it is to keep testing yourself, to keep enduring, until you build an unshakable inner certainty. When you have that, the future becomes clear.
There are no right answers. My only hope for you is that you become the kind of person who is strong enough to break whatever "right answers" people like me give you.
Eight years ago, when I was clawing my way toward that life, I was fueled by a sense of lack. A certain anger. I still carry it with me. It’s why I have a deep affection for anyone on a similar path. I hope you make it. And I hope it makes you happy.